An insecure child in the classroom: looking for self-confidence together!

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“I dare not mom.” Your child has to do his speech today, but is very nervous. You lovingly talk to your child ‘You can do it, trust yourself and your own strength’. Your child resists your words and goes to his class with lead in his shoes. How can you as a parent provide the best guidance and convert uncertainty into self-confidence? More information about this and useful tips in this blog post!

Uncertainty provokes different behavior…

An insecure child often shows different behavior to mask the real problem. Children can keep extra quiet and sometimes even literally hide in a corner or children can, for example, come to the fore and hide their insecurities by means of a ‘big mouth’ or even bullying behavior. Also be alert to differences between behavior at home and behavior at school. The behavioral changes are often ‘a cry’ for attention and help.

Take out the sting of uncertainty!

If you detect uncertainty in your child, then of course you want nothing more than to take action. Try to start a conversation with your child to find out what your child is unsure about, because once you know this you can take targeted action. You know your child from thousands, so you can sense the right entrance for help to work together towards a better self-image and more self-confidence.

Everyone is insecure sometimes, you are not alone.

Whether your child is insecure or not, it is always valuable to start a conversation with your child about uncertainty and unpleasant behavior as a result of uncertainty. There may be children in your child’s class who bully each other, are regularly angry or sad. Talk openly with your child about uncertainty and explain that everyone has their own insecurities and that there are phases throughout a person’s life where uncertainties become even more prominent. Teach your child to be understanding and respectful of everyone and teach them to remember that negative behavior often hides a problem that the child in question will have to work on on their own, in their own way.

The perfect picture…

Teach your child that no one is perfect and that he certainly does not have to strive for the perfect picture, but rather to embrace all his limitations and all his qualities. Stimulate your child to discover his talents and as soon as you have discovered 1; name this one too. Your child will gain greater self-confidence from successful experiences! Discovering your own talent and your own character, your norms and your values is a valuable process that you as a parent should actually keep in mind every day. Teach your child to reflect, for example by mentioning something every day that went well or that he is proud of and also something that could be done better. And the most important thing to teach your child: you just have to be human, not a superhero


– Does your child often have stomachaches or headaches? He may suffer from so-called psychosomatic complaints: physical complaints caused by tension (which may arise in uncertain phases). In case of serious complaints, always consult your doctor first. If the complaints are psychosomatic, it can help to build in sufficient rest and to look for relaxing activities together with your child.

– Continue to connect with your child’s teacher. Discuss your child’s insecurities and changes in mood or behavior at school. Close contact between the school and the home situation yields a lot for your child: everyone knows what is going on and can try to support them as best they can on the road to more self-confidence.

If necessary, call in a coach, therapist or psychologist if you see that the cooperation between the school and you as parents is not sufficient for the positive development of your child. Children can find it very pleasant to share their insecurities with someone far away from them. And when it comes to assistance, don’t just think of ‘talking’. There are also, for example, physiotherapists who try to reduce tension in a child through movement therapy or, for example, a creative therapist who can give children insights/support through expressive assignments. Do your research and choose the care provider that suits your child’s character and interests.

Discuss with your child’s teacher whether the subject of ‘uncertainty’ can be discussed in a playful and positive way in class.Children feel very supported in the knowledge that everyone knows their insecurities. Children can give each other tips and listen to each other’s stories. It immediately strengthens the self-esteem of every child and a nice side effect is that it can strengthen the group feeling and mutual understanding and respect.

– Praise your child extensively at moments of success. At home, especially during uncertain phases, regularly mention what your child is good at. Human beings have the ability to quickly focus on things that are not going well and/or that make you insecure. Sincere, sincere compliments increase self-confidence and uncertainty has no chance to grow further.

And compliment yourself as a parent; you are a great help to your child! Good for your confidence anyway

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