How do you help an insecure child?

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What is uncertainty?

Every person and every child is sometimes insecure. For example, if you have to do something new and are unsure whether you can do it. This is very normal. If your child is very insecure, he probably has lessconfidence. He feels like he’s not good enough and thinks he can’t do things that others can.

Your child probably often has negative thought patterns and that is difficult to reverse. If you tell your child that he can do it and that he can be there, an insecure child will not believe this. Nevertheless, it is important that you help your child if he is often insecure.

Cause of uncertainty

Usually there is no clear cause if a child is insecure. Some children are naturally more confident than others. Other children become insecure because they don’t feel safe, connected, or valued. Is too much expected of a child at home or at school: that can also make a child insecure. Whatever the cause, if a child is insecure, he can end up in a negative spiral. When something goes wrong, he blames himself. This strengthens his negative self-image and makes him even more insecure.

Symptoms of uncertainty

If your child is very insecure, this can express itself in all kinds of ways. He is quiet and withdrawn, looks the cat out of the tree, speaks softly and makes little eye contact. It may also be that your child is often afraid to do things alone or that he quickly gets angry or starts crying when he is put in a situation where he does not feel safe.

If your child often asks for confirmation and adapts (too) often to others, this can also indicate insecurity. If you feel that your child’s insecurity is hindering his development, it is good to get started with his insecurity. This will prevent him from developing a negative self-image. This means that your child looks at himself in a negative way.

Features of negative self-image

These are possible signs of a negative self-image in a child:

  • Talking about yourself negatively: ‘I can’t’ or: ‘I’m stupid’.
  • Shy, waiting, not taking initiative.
  • Looking at things or avoiding situations where he may fail.
  • Often asking for help and being afraid to do things alone.
  • Shouting yourself over by behaving tough, crazy or aggressive.
  • Complaining about  stomach ache, headache or other physical complaints while he is not sick.

Tips: this is how you help an insecure child

If you want to help your child to be less insecure, you will have to work on his self-confidence. These tips will help you on your way:

  1. Listen to your child. You do this by really taking the time for him, looking at him in the meantime and not interrupting him. This way you give your child the feeling that he is important and that boosts his self-confidence.
  2. Teach your child that making mistakes is okay.You do this by naming it, but especially by choosing the right words. For example, if your child puts on his shoes incorrectly, don’t say, “That’s not right.” Instead, say: “Look at your shoes again.” In short, let your child discover for himself what he can do differently and praise him if he solves the “problem” himself. In this way you give him the message that making mistakes is not a bad thing, but rather instructive.
  3. Set a good example. Do you tend to talk negatively about yourself or others and are you insecure yourself? Get started. If you radiate self-confidence and have a positive attitude to life, this will radiate to your child. Read also: How bad is it that you don’t (always) good example?
  4. Don’t compare. Every child is different and develops at their own pace. So never compare your child with other children.
  5. Show an interest in your child. Show your child that you care about him. Watch a children’s video on YouTube, read a book together or just give your child a big hug.
  6. Give compliments.Who doesn’t like a compliment? Be careful not to exaggerate, because that will not help your child. This is how you compliment your child correctly.</ a>
  7. Stimulate independence in your child. Giving your child tasks is good for his independence and self-confidence. Make sure you don’t help him too quickly, because it won’t work or it will take too long. These are suitable household chores by age.</ a>

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