A few years ago, during my coaching training, I got an astonishing insight: I needed uncertainty! Until then I had experienced uncertainty as something very negative. Confidence was good and insecurity was bad. You shouldn’t show uncertainty, you had to get rid of it as soon as possible.
Nothing is less true. Uncertainty is a condition for growth, otherwise you will stay where you are.
Fighting uncertainty
Up to that point I had fought insecurity all my life and developed all sorts of strategies to hide or deny my own insecurity. I had masks I could put on in certain situations: Wanting to help everyone at my own expense, talking and not having an opinion of my own, making myself invisible, always being cheerful, denying my own needs, avoiding awkward situations and acting tough (while I which of course wasn’t).
The price I paid for this was high. It made me dead tired, and more insecure than ever before. I felt like I couldn’t be myself anymore. Until that one day in 2010h2026h2026..
Pat’s law: uncertainty is a condition for growth
During a practice session for my coaching training, I found out that I made a huge spurt in my personal and business development when I was insecure. I needed uncertainty!
The tension of an uncertain situation also gave me the strength to get the best out of myself, to get out of my comfort zone and do what was necessary. Without that tension I became lazy. Uncertainty ensured that I was sharp, set goals and was able to focus.
I now call that one insight Pat’s law: Uncertainty is a prerequisite for personal and business growth. The more uncomfortable the situation, the greater the growth.
Pat’s law and self-confidence
Pat’s law had another unforeseen effect. I noticed that my self-confidence increased the more I could be myself and use all my talents in a positive way. The tension between insecurity and self-confidence gave me the courage to do things that I had previously thought impossible.
100% self-confidence does not exist at all, it is an illusion. Self-confidence is not something static but rather dynamic and is an indicator that gives you feedback on the current situation. Self-confidence and insecurity go hand in hand!
For self-confidence you need sufficient self-knowledge. You can’t trust someone if you don’t get to know them first. And you can only trust yourself if you know yourself well!
Pat’s law as a basis for coaching & training
Since that day in 2010, Pat’s Law has become the foundation of my coaching style. As a coach and trainer, I always work on a healthy basic self-knowledge first, then use the tension between uncertainty and self-confidence for personal and business growth.
A world opens up for you when you start looking at uncertainty from a different perspective.
